Making time for self care

I recently did an Instagram live with Sian, @mymenopauseselfcarecoach on the topic of self care (watch the replay here), and I thought the tips might be useful to re-share here as we approach the festive season!

Here are some thoughts on making time for self care, as I consider this in relation to my conscious time management framework, the 8 P’s (more on this framework here):

Phrase - the importance of language and the words we use

Get clear on what self care means to you. Perhaps you are already good at self care, but you’re just not calling it out as that… for example, prioritising sleep, getting your steps in each day or fuelling your body with nutritious meals are all examples of self care.

The words we use are really important, if we tell ourselves that we have no time for self care, or we’re too busy to take care of ourselves - then we will be right. So think about your mindset, recognise that it’s important to prioritise your own wellbeing and it’s not selfish.

Presence - being in the moment

Start small, what’s something realistic that you could achieve to schedule in this week or weekend. And start from there. I encourage my clients to take a mindful pause when they are making a cup of tea or coffee, instead of rushing around doing housework in the few minutes that the tea is brewing! Stop what you’re doing and just breathe. Find your feet. Take a moment to just be. What rituals or routines can you implement to improve your self care?

Plan - the importance of planning

Track your time; most people don’t realise how much time they actually do have. We spent a lot of time on our phones or watching TV, which is fine if that’s your intention… but it’s very easy to get sucked into a scroll hole. Have you looked at your screen-time stats on your phone? It can be eye opening!

Create a thoughtful plan and schedule your self care. I personally like to time block my calendar, both for work and play. Create an appointment with yourself. Many people will schedule their ‘work lives’ but don’t consider their personal lives, and because we’re not intentional with this time - it can feel like it doesn’t exist. It takes effort to take a class or go to the gym or see a friend, but it’s worth the effort.

That said, it’s very easy to push out a bath or a solo walk when your day gets busy, but we’re less likely to let down a friend or miss an appointment. So for my self care, if funds allow it, I will treat myself to a massage or a sound bath. I will not skip the appointment, and I then can be confident that I will be getting some time to myself.

It might be tricky for you to weave in self care each day into your schedule, but Laura Vanderkam - an American author in the time management space - shares that ‘three times a week is a habit’. So it doesn’t need to be a daily self care routine for it to count. Look at your week as a whole, the 168 hours, rather than considering the days.

What might getting creative with your schedule look like? Could you plan for some self care during your working day - perhaps a walk at lunchtime? Could you meet a friend for a coffee and a walk first thing in the morning? Maybe you could use your commute for some self care, rather than checking emails or social media. Maybe that looks like having a scented hand cream in your bag, and you can give yourself a little hand massage whilst on the train. If you’re a busy parent, can you involve your children? When my kids were younger they quite enjoyed an evening meditation session and we’d take turns at giving each other back massages.

Place - consider your environment

Boundaries; consider what you might need to say no to to allow yourself some time in your schedule for self care. And know that it’s ok to have boundaries. Have a read of this previous blog post on boundaries.

A large part of this will be to communicate, with your partner, your family… ensure they are aligned with why it is important to you to get some time for yourself. You will be a more present human being if you get time to recharge.

Ask for help; this is something I can struggle with. But most people will actually be happy to help, but they can’t read your mind. Or outsource if you can afford to do so. When my children were little, I would occasionally hire a babysitter to do the bedtime routine for me, and I would go to a local coffee shop and read a magazine for an hour.

Would you like to get more time for the things that really matter?

I currently have space for 1-to-1 time management coaching clients. I can support you to make sustainable changes in your life, so you can go after your dreams and achieve your goals. Please get in touch here.