Time management tips for the single mum.
My journey into single parenting
I have been a single mum of two for nearly 12 years… my daughter was just 9 months old when I separated from my husband and he left the family home, and my son was around 2 and a half. It’s wild when I reflect back… I was on my own with the children for most of the time (we eventually moved to a 50/50 childcare arrangement, but for the first 6-7 months they were both with me 6 nights a week) and so the night feed, the midnight wake-up calls, the nursery run etc all landed with me and I was just returning to my corporate job (part-time) after maternity leave!
I was most definitely on autopilot as I navigated my days and weeks!
Things are perhaps a little calmer now, and not as physically demanding… but it’s still a tough gig and I’d say it’s more emotionally draining with a pre-teen daughter and a teenage son!!
How to manage your time as a single mum
I wanted to pull together some of my thoughts on time management for single mums (or parents really!). Stepping up my organisation and time management really helped me get through these challenging times.
Prioritise Tasks: Identify the most important tasks that need your attention each day. Focus on completing the high-priority tasks first, and know that it’s ok to postpone less urgent ones. This ensures that the most crucial things get done, even if your schedule is tight.
Lower your Standards: You might be able to ‘have it all’ - the high flying job, the beautiful home, being present for your children - but it’s likely that you won’t be able to have it all to the high standards you might strive for or see online. I used to consider myself a perfectionist, whereas I try now to work to the mantra of ‘done is better than perfect’. For example, my home is beautiful, and I’m extremely grateful to have a house that I own… it’s decluttered which makes tidying easier, but it’s not pristine… and I’m ok with that. My garden is also a riot… I purposefully deprioritised this task because I didn’t have capacity for it.
Get Organised: Have a place for everything in your home and put things back where they belong if you move them, and take 5 minutes each night to reset your home - it is wonderful waking up to a tidy kitchen!
Implement Simple Systems: I can remember the nights where I had to frantically text my nearby friends to see if they could drop me off a pint of milk; once the kids were in bed, I obviously couldn’t leave them! A simple thing like having my milk delivered on subscription has meant that I don’t run out! There are lots of different ways you can use systems in your home to make things feel easier.
Create a Schedule: Develop a thoughtful weekly schedule to provide structure to your days. Allocate specific time blocks for work, family, self-care, and other essential activities. Having a visual representation of your time helps you see where your time is going and allows for better planning. I personally like to colour code my blocks, and it then allows me to see if I have enough balance. I particularly liked to plan my weekends, as these could sometimes feel never-ending in those early days when the kids were little. I used to also be very proactive in seeking out classes and activities to join.
Set Realistic Goals: Be realistic about what you can achieve in a given time frame - most people are unrealistic about what they can achieve in a day. Think about setting achievable goals for yourself, both short-term and long-term, and make sure you celebrate as you go!
Learn to Say No: It's okay to decline additional responsibilities if your plate is already full. Saying no doesn't mean you're not helpful or caring—it means you're mindful of your own limitations. Protecting your time and energy is crucial for your wellbeing. What can you let go of? Before I became a mum, I had grand visions of being involved in the school committees and so forth, but in reality I just didn’t have the time or energy for it as a single parent… and that’s ok.
Self Care: I think it’s really crucial that we take time for ourselves, even if that looks like a 30 minute bath or a solo coffee date. When the kids were little, by the time it came to their bedtime routine I was utterly exhausted. I didn’t have family nearby, but I did enlist the help of a babysitter now and then. It felt luxurious stepping out of the house and letting her do the bedtime routine whilst I enjoyed a coffee at a local coffee shop with my magazine! I was in a position where I could afford to do this, but you might have a friend who would be willing to step in and help if you don’t have relatives on hand.
Delegate and Seek Support: I sadly don’t have any family here in Glasgow, but if you can - ask for help. Whether it's getting family members involved or outsourcing tasks, sharing responsibilities can lighten your load. You don't have to do everything alone. If you can, get your children involved with chores when they are little (I left it too late, and my children barely lift a finger around the house!!).
Let me know in the comments if you have any other suggestions, and if you’d like help with your time management - my signature programme, Project Manage Your Life, will soon be reopening it’s doors for new students.