How to stretch time: creating memories
The importance of memories
I asked my daughter to share three memories or things she has enjoyed doing with me and this is what she said: “Holidays, day trip into town and camping”.
I LOVE to make memories.
Where does this love stem from? I’m not sure... I’m guessing it’s attributed to the deep knowing that our time is precious; I lost my mum to cancer when I was a teenager which as you might imagine changed the trajectory of my life and has impacted my journey. However, I think it’s something that was nurtured in me... quite possibly from my mum, which makes it special when I now reflect.
When I was little, aged around 9 years old, our family moved to the Middle East. My younger sister and I went to an international school during the week, and once our homework was done, we spent our time at the compound swimming pool (we lived in a gated complex), enjoying the sunshine. Weekends were spent with our friends at the nearby beach. I remember the massive plastic cool boxes filled with ice, fizzy juice and beer, and the kids would run riot in the sea and exploring the dunes. One of our favourite games to play was Swiss Family Robinson, and we used to scour the beach for items that we could use in our make-believe home. On one occasion we had been attempting to drag, what I think was a rolled-up rug of some sort if memory serves me, and out of the depths slithered a snake! Cue loads of screaming, and one of the adults came along and killed it. I also have a vague memory of being in the back of a Jeep with a bunch of kids, and one of the adults drove us over the dunes and along the water’s edge. It’s probably not surprising now that the beach is my happy place.
My mum must have known that this experience was going to be impactful for my sister and I, and she had encouraged us to start a collection to commemorate our travels. We were to collect trinket boxes. We also were encouraged to keep a travel journal, which I did religiously until I was in my mid-teens. I still have the journal to this day, with its green hardback cover, and I love looking back on the stories. There are plane tickets, receipts, pamphlets from visitor attractions and more stuck within the pages.
Being in the Middle East, for me, was fantastic. I was in a little bubble of safety... living in our large home on a gated complex, with access to a pool and surrounded by friends. We also were lucky to travel to other far-flung destinations from our base in Doha, which we wouldn’t have done if we had stayed in my hometown of Aberdeen. I visited Thailand, Hong Kong and Dubai as a 10 year old... collecting boxes on my way!
We returned to Scotland for me to attend Primary 7 and reintegrate with my friends, and by the time I was in High School I had a shelf in my bedroom that was full of boxes! Inside each box was a little piece of paper with a note on where the box had been purchased and when. I don’t have all the boxes anymore, but I do still have a number of them dotted around my home... one favourite is a papier mâché frog, and I have a vintage toothpaste ceramic box in my bathroom that I love too. I will occasionally pick them up, and get lost in the memory for a moment.
My home has been curated with stories, and most of the items I have there is a memory associated with it.
Conscious time management
In my work as a conscious time management coach, I encourage my audience and clients to also make memories and be intentional with their time – it’s one of my 8 P’s of conscious time management... P for PLEASURE. If we don’t attend to the time we have, it can feel like it’s slipping away and doesn’t exist.
We feel like we might not have enough time. Can you relate?
Whereas in making memories, we have not only the anticipation of the event, but the event itself and then the memory thereafter.
Story telling
I retell my stories to my children, and they love to hear about my adventures. My daughter, when she was around 8 or 9, was upset because she couldn’t tell interesting stories like me, but as I gently reminded her... I’ve had decades to collect these stories and she’s just starting out on her journey.
Some of my stand-out memories:
Working as a counsellor at an American summer camp, and my travels up and down the East coast via train post-camp. 18 year old Sarah loved coming up from the subway in NYC to discover Times Square. When I called home from a phone box, my parents thought I had been taking drugs as I was so high on life.
Taking an elephant on a walk through the forest in South Africa, and the safari trips that we did. I toured South Africa for 6 weeks (I was doing my PhD at the time, and so I was able to take an extended break), and actually got engaged on that trip.
Driving a convertible Mustang into the sunset in New Mexico (I travelled there a few times with work), and doing the Breaking Bad RV Tour in Albuquerque. I also signed up with a mixed martial arts gym in ABQ on one of my trips and was grappling with a young American guy! I went into work the next day with bruises up my arms, much to the amusement of my colleagues.
Getting into the cockpit of the plane to meet the pilot on our recent trip to Greece, and diving into the crystal-clear turquoise sea from the deck of a boat whilst there. My gran passed away earlier this year, a few months shy of her 100th birthday, and I received a sum of money from her estate. I debated over whether to use the money to pay the bills (the sensible choice), or, use the money to buy a holiday and create a fantastic memory for myself and the kids. I’m glad I went with the latter.
Looking back at this list, it’s clear I have a love for travel! And I also recognise that I’ve been fortunate that my life has allowed me to afford experiences like these.
I have also had plenty experiences that have been memorable that haven’t involved aeroplanes:
Driving the North Coast 500 with my best friend, Dawn... there was so much laughter, and some tears too, on that trip of a lifetime. I still to this day watch back the highlights on my Instagram, and it brings a smile to my face. They’re still there if you want to take a peek.
Watching the sunset at a campsite in the Highlands, and generally most of the trips that I’ve done in Verity, my VW campervan. I traded in my car at the end of 2019 for a campervan... the repayments for the van were similar to that of my car (I shopped around and got a very good loan), and the insurance wasn’t that much higher. It’s been one of my best investments, even if it was a bit of an impulse buy. My longest trip was to the Outer Hebrides in 2022, where I spent 9 nights in the van with Evie (our Cavachon pup); the weather wasn’t brilliant, but I loved it.
Dawn has a penchant for exploring abandoned buildings, and I’ve been fortunate (or unfortunate!) enough to accompany her on a few of her adventures. There was this one time, when we were trying to find the cave of a famous cannibal, and we were literally hanging onto the cliffs on the Ayrshire coast as we desperately tried to locate said cave! In the end I gave up and went back to the car, but Dawn persevered and eventually found it (I think her Stories are still there on her Instagram!).
And some of my memories closer to home:
Baking cupcakes with my daughter. During the lockdown, she was a prolific baker, and delivered care packages to some of our neighbours!
The arrival of Evie, she was so cute when she was teeny tiny!
Making a fire on the beach and toasting marshmallows - yum.
Sledging with Dawn and all the kids; so much laughter! (It was so much easier when they were younger! I think the sweet spot was like 5-9 years old!).
Teaching my daughter to dive at our local pool. What a thrill it was diving into the water after what must have been decades of not doing it.
Kitchen dancing with my sister and her kids.
And I’m sure there are many more… but these are just the ones that are front of mind!
How to get started yourself
It can help to set yourself a personal project, and in this earlier blog post I’ve shared a few ideas. Get yourself a ‘List of 100 dreams’… you can even create it as a project in Asana (a free, digital project management tool) if you really want to take it seriously! I wrote my list of 100 dreams at the start of 2023, and I’ve got 6 items scored off so far!